


different stories

by neyvenger (jjjat3am)



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Animal Transformation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-28 07:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7630630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjjat3am/pseuds/neyvenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jordan considers himself to be fairly familiar with magic and its ways, for a non-expert. It's part of the job at this point. Football's so steeped in tradition and worship, it's practically a magical branch all of its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	different stories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Imkerin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imkerin/gifts).



> Dear giftee! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write the football magical realism story I've always wanted to write. I hope you enjoy this treat!
> 
> Big thanks to Merc, for going along with all my stupid ideas.
> 
> title is from [Spoonboy - Different Stories](https://spoonboy.bandcamp.com/album/colour-me-wednesday-split-lp)

 

 

Jordan’s seen some weird and unusual things during his time at Liverpool. It’s in the nature of their jobs, of the sport they play in, that every football pitch is steeped with magic, warding spells layered over curses and more spells. 

 

Anfield is written in as a place of worship in the government books. The tears, sweat and joy, mixed into its walls make for a potent mix.

 

He’s heard tell that there’s ley lines under the new Arsenal stadium, and Chelsea have a dead man’s ashes buried under their penalty spot (when you take a penalty there it’s as if something is holding your foot down, grasping at your ankles). Philippe has the Sight and he said once that Old Trafford is crisscrossed with bright lines of spells, each as thin as a hair, all tied back to one person.

 

Even anomalies among footballers themselves aren’t that unusual. It could be that the sport attracts people who are special in their own way (though the Magical Doping Control keeps a strict eye on any gifts that could be considered an advantage), or that they become that through the sheer amount of magic they’re exposed to.

 

He’s seen Studge when he’s off his meds during mating season and the droves of butterflies that descended on the training ground, responding to his pheromones. Dejan once grew a third eye for a week and couldn’t play because of the resulting headache. Kolo could turn into a werewolf on every day that wasn’t the full moon, weirdly enough. And Stevie once told him the story of how Carra spent a few weeks as a wildly excitable Pomeranian puppy.

 

Nothing (except for the mundane bad-luck hex) ever happened to Jordan, though Adam once claimed he went invisible for an hour. Jordan suspects it was actually just that Adam was mad at him at the time and deliberately ignored him for a while.

 

Jordan considers himself to be fairly familiar with magic and its ways, for a non-expert. Still, it’s somewhat disconcerting to see your gaffer turn into a badger right in front of you.

 

One second, Kloppo is going on about defensive formations, and a moment later, his voice is coming from a few feet lower and his face is a whole lot furrier.

 

There’s a sudden hush among the players, except for Philippe who lets out a soft ‘Ah-ha!’. Out of the corner of his eye, Jordan can see Milly tense up. Milly doesn’t do well around magic for some reason.

 

Kloppo is still talking.

 

Jordan thinks of the armband, and the responsibility and duty that come with it (his forearm throbs in response; he’s been wearing it enough these days that he feels it even when it’s not on). 

 

He tentatively raises his hand.

 

“Yes, Hendo?” Badger-Kloppo finally breaks his tirade. It’s so weird to see a human voice come out of its snout. 

 

“Erm. You’re a badger, sir.”

 

“Oh,” Badger-Kloppo says, glancing down at his paws. He settles back on his front legs, somewhat self-consciously smoothing down some of his frizzled fur. “Better call Željko then.”

 

It turns out that Željko is already on the way, having been informed of a suspicious magic surge from the training ground by their club witch. After a whispered exchange with Kloppo, they turn back to the group.

 

“Alright,” Željko says, frowning, “there’s two hours of training left. Are you lot going to be able to get through it while managed by a badger?”

 

There’s nods and mumbles of assent from the gathered, and Jordan offers his own, “No problem, sir.” Kloppo resumes his barking instructions, this time with Željko as his shadow. 

 

Jordan makes sure to stick close to Milly for the rest of the training session, even though he looks fine now, and he sees Adam doing the same on the other side.

 

It turns out that it’s a lot more difficult to do passing drills with an irate badger underfoot.

  
  


*

  
  


Training goes off mostly without a hitch. Jordan is one of the last people to leave the pitch, picking up some of the cones on the way out, when he catches something in the corner of his eye.

 

Badger-Kloppo and Željko are talking quietly by the benches. As Jordan watches, Željko bends down to scoop Kloppo up in a practiced motion. The badger-Kloppo settles his big body into Željko’s arms, licking carefully at their bare forearms. In turn, Željko presses a fond kiss to the top of his furry head.

 

Jordan wishes suddenly that phones were allowed at training grounds so he could snap a discreet photo, because the scene is almost criminally cute.

  
  


*

  
  


Jordan goes up to Željko’s office the next morning. It’s a new thing they’ve been doing, where they talk about the team and what they’re supposed to be doing, so he can try to relay the instructions to them from his side as well.

 

When he enters the office, he has to do a double take. The person behind the desk is obviously Željko, except that they seem to have grown a few appendages overnight. Specifically in the chest area, where the official gear jacket is bunching weirdly, because the kit maker seems to refuse to make jackets that look decent on female models.

 

Jordan stares for a moment and then consciously decides he’s not going to let it phase him. 

 

“Good morning,” he says. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

 

It’s the right thing to say, because he gets favored by one of Željko’s rare smiles. It makes him blush a little, and he ducks to sit in the offered chair to cover it up.

 

That’s when he notices the badger laid out on a pillow next to the window, napping in the morning sunshine.

 

“Oh, you’re both here,” Jordan says, and as he watches, Badger-Kloppo lets out a content snore and sprawls out. “Do we know how long he’s going to be like this?”

 

“He should be back to his old self by midnight tonight. It’s all fairly routine. Wood spirit blood somewhere down the line, or so I’ve been told,” Željko says, pushing a lock of their lustrous hair behind their ear. 

 

“Is yours, uh,” here, Jordan waves at Željko, “tied to his?”

 

“Just coincidence,” Željko says, shrugging. 

 

From his pillow, Badger-Kloppo opens his eyes and sticks out his tongue at him. Jordan wonders if it’d be weird to ask him for a hug when he’s like this.

 

“Speaking of,” Željko says. “Do you know you sometimes turn invisible?”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> \- Željko sometimes swaps sexes. Since this means he has female genitalia half the time, and male genitalia the other half, I figured that it’d make sense if he identified as non-binary, which is why I used the pronouns they/their in this story.  
> \- Chelsea does actually have [Peter Osgood's](http://weaintgotnohistory.sbnation.com/2016/3/1/11137302/chelsea-pay-tribute-to-peter-osgood-the-king-of-stamford-bridge) ashes buried under the penalty spot. It's creepy as heck.  
> \- yes, Fergie is probably a witch. What else cold explain all those league titles?  
> \- the tales of Carra the Pomeranian were hilariously chronicled in [gutilicious'](http://archiveofourown.org/users/aliccolo/pseuds/gutilicious) [Dog Days of Summer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7221745)  
> \- the captain’s armband is sentient  
> \- can you imagine how cool it would be to be watching a game of football and then the camera switches to a badger on the sideline, wildly emoting?  
> \- note the hint of Lamilnerson, please, it's there on purpose  
> \- also, I made Kloppo a badger for several reasons. One of them is that they're super cute. Another one is that it's the Hufflepuff mascot, and is "an animal that is often underestimated, because it lives quietly until attacked, but which, when provoked, can fight off animals much larger than itself" and that's the most Kloppo thing I've ever heard.


End file.
